Learned.

I have learned to be enough

To be me without guilt or fear

Without apology for the parts

That do not fit the world’s narrative

I have learned to be unafraid

To let heaven collapse atop quivering earth

To allow my words fly even if they will ignite

The fires that will turn me to immaterial ash

I have learned to love

Damning heartbreaks and salty tears without end.

To risk the universe for that speedy rush

Like untying my veins after heroin’s kiss

I have learned to hate

To let it fire capillaries and neurones,

To dance in the shadows of its fires

To remember that love cannot exist without its twin.

I have learned to be deaf

Again and again and again

If you say I cannot win,

I will not hear you too.

I have learned to sing the rhythms

and cadences of the women who came before me

To dance without hesitation or consideration

For my jerky arms and feet.

I have learned to live

And welcome death like a lover

So when all of this is over and I lie in eternal sleep

I want to say I was me and have it be true.