Four years… 

Writing is a jealous lover. 
During my time in university, I didn’t write much. Studying pharmacy was more exacting than writing and it was very quick with punishments, patience wasn’t part of its arsenal. 
After leaving school and beginning my internship, the stirring for writing intensified in my heart. I began to feel as if I’d go crazy without it.  
So I got a tab in August 2013 and on the 5th of September, I started this blog.  In those four years, I have grown immensely as a writer, a woman and as a productive member of society. I’ve met so many amazing individuals via this blog, I’m beyond blessed to have met them and have them my life.
Today’s been pretty terrible, with what has to be the worst bout of PCOS induced wahala and a hectic day at work. All I wanted to do was sleep. Somehow I found myself on word press and saw the notification of my anniversary  here. 

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20/20

This morning I was talking to a certain male friend about pictures and good looks and he said something that shocked me. He said he wasn’t handsome, he was barely averagely good-looking. I was beyond shocked, my mouth hung open and I couldn’t even think. This guy is one of the “handsomest” guys in Nigeria, and he thinks he’s a little better than ugly. The same guy who won the most handsome guy in his department on the regular when he was in the university and has a retinue of adoring fans till this day.

As I ended the call I was flummoxed at my friend’s cluelessness. I’d be uncomfortable being his girlfriend, yes its as bad as that! because I’d always have people wonder how I managed to snag “such a fine guy”.

I still had him on my mind when I went to the living room to eat my breakfast and my matriculation picture caught my eye. I was a teenager at the time but I thought I looked thirty-five (no jokes) and was as fat as a hippo. Standing in front of that picture this morning I wondered what kind of idiocy could have inspired such a thought. The girl in the picture looked very young and she wasn’t even fat. In hindsight I could see things the way they really were but back then? No! Right now I’m glad I had no conception of just how beautiful I was, my conceit would have hit meteoric levels. People would have had to fill forms to talk to me *I kid*. The whole thing leaves me wondering, how come we rarely see the awesome and wonderful things about ourselves? When others try to tell us we only wave them aside and claim they are flattering or even mocking us.

I remember all the beautiful dresses I refused to buy because I felt I was too fat for them or that my shoulder stretch marks made them impractical, despite my friend’s insistence that they’d fit perfectly.  How many opportunities have we missed because we decided we weren’t smart enough or rich enough or influential enough etc? And when we look back in five, ten years we discover we were just right for those things. Hero always says “the things we’ll regret the most at the end are not the things we did but the things we didn’t do”. I’m no motivational speaker and this is not an inspirational blog so I won’t sermonize, I’d just say this. You’re far more awesomely amazing than you think you are at the moment, don’t let nobody tell you different.

I was watching a YouTube clip of Majek Fashek’s appearance on David letterman’s show in the early 1990s. He performed my favourite Majek song “So long”, I’m not going to gush about the song… this is not a favorite song post. I wish someone had showed him an image of how he’d look like in less than twenty years, maybe that’d have made him get his act together. I watched a recent interview where he claimed “forces from home” were behind his sorry state, I felt so sad for him because he was obviously in the highest plain of delusion. Hopefully he’s the only person living there.

When I was a child (like three or four years old) I loved listening to him, I thought he knew me and had sang a song about my parents. Remember his song that had the lines
Mama Tete oyoyo
Papa Tete oyoyo
I thought he was singing for my parents, you see Adaeze is a tough name for kids to pronounce. Ask any child below three to pronounce the name and you’ll hear things like Adede, Atietie, dede or tete. I thought he couldn’t pronounce the name just like many of my friends. Anyway I always had a soft spot for him and I really hope he gets better or at least stops deteriorating. I just watched a video of one of his performances this year and the tears are still stinging my eyes. His voice is still on point though.
I pray we never waste the most important thing God gave us on this earth in the quest for the inconsequential, wasting our lives makes mockery of God. So weigh yourself and your life on a scale and see if you’re using your full potential.

50th post!!!

This is my fiftieth post on this blog, bring out the ice cream and cake-freshly baked hot cake. It’s amazing that I’ve stuck at this long enough to have produced a 50th post, I’m as excited as I’d be if I won a hundred thousand naira in a lottery or something.

I find it hard to stick to anything, I’m more likely to start a project and be fired up and enthusiastic about it. Two weeks later not only would I have moved on, I’d have forgotten about it. Case in point, this is my fourth blog. However I’ve ‘broken the jinx’ and even after fifty posts I’m not bored yet. I even baked a cake to celebrate this feat, that’s how big a deal it is for me

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Ok I’ll admit that I had a strong craving for cake and decided to use my fiftieth post as an excuse to make one. I love hot fresh cake, surprising I don’t eat hot food but hot cake? Most definitely!

In the last week I’ve been learning a whole lot about commitment and sacrifice, I even had to undergo commitment training too. I’m hoping that I’d learn to stick to something or someone (will have to get married and have kids) even when I’m no longer interested. On Sunday I went for a programme organised by Rev Chris Ojigbani and there he also discussed commitment and sacrifice, it was like the crux of all I’d been learning all week.

Still on the programme, I learnt a lot about time and God’s will for humans. He deconstructed Ecclesiastics chapter 3- the popular bible passage about time. He said something that struck me, “if there’s time for everything, why do we bother praying? We should just wait for time to bring us what we want, when it’s time for good things, we’ll get good things and when it’s time for bad things…

The programme held at National Stadium Surulere and it was well attended. At the entry point, a man was dispensing hand sanitizers to attendees. Ebola has really had an effect on the way things are done in public places. My mum was given a dollop of hand sanitizer on entry into UBA earlier today. At least we’re more conscious about personal hygiene. It’s so horrible how ebola has managed to kill many people across Africa, may the souls of those who’ve died from this terrible disease Rest In Perfect Peace. Amen.