Braveheart

If you know me well, you’d know that I love songs done in the 70s and early 80s. However once in a while a song comes out and hits me in the jugular, like ‘Brave’ by Josh Groban from his ‘All that echoes’ album. From his voice to the lyrics and the beat, the song is a winner for me anyday, it’s helped me through those times I’ve felt alone, afraid and abandoned. 
I’ve decided to share the lyrics with you, the song is available for download at mp3skull.com, and no! I won’t share the link, find it by yourself. Trust me, you’d love it.
Did I also mention that the guy is really cute, he looks a lot like Lionel Messi. And Yes! I’m his future wife *if only I could just meet him*

                “Brave”
Wake up, wake up, the sun cannot wait for long
Reach out, reach out before it fades away
You will find the warmth when you surrender
Smile into the fear and let it play

You wanna run away, run away
And you say that it can’t be so
You wanna look away, look away
But you stay ’cause it’s all so close
When you stand up and hold out your hand
In the face what I don’t understand
My reason to be brave

Hold on, hold on so strong, time just carries on
All that you thought was wrong is pure again
You can’t hide forever from the thunder
Look into the storm and feel the rain

You wanna run away, run away
And you say that it can’t be so
You wanna look away, look away
But you stay ’cause it’s all so close
When you stand up and hold out your hand
In the face what I don’t understand
My reason to be brave

Oooooh oooooh oooh ooooh

Go on, go on
You wanna run away run away
And you say that it can’t be so
You wanna look away look away
But you stay ’cause it’s all so close
When you stand up and hold out your hand
In the face what I don’t understand
My reason to be brave

Miss Independent

I’ve always liked Neyo’s ‘Miss independent’ the beat always lifts me and lulls me into a state where I believe I can dance. But it’s the lyrics that truly got me, I liked the idea of being self reliant, not needing a man for no shit, sexy as H and any male I let into my life considers himself blessed. Looking back it seems I was naively cocky but I kinda believed I could be “Ms I”.
You see I’d always wanted to live on an island with all the interesting books in the world and robots to do the chores, I’d have no contact with humans for any reason, that was the ultimate fantasy for me back then.
Why am I writing this? What’s the point? I wish I knew…

Where I am at the moment

I saw a poem on http://www.nigerianscorpio.com, it hit me in the solar plexus. It says everything I feel right now and I want to share it with you

After a While
After a while you learn
The subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t always mean security.

And you begin to learn
That kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of woman,
Not the grief of a child

And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow’s ground is
Too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way
Of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn
That you really can endure
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
With every goodbye you learn.
Veronica A. Shoffstall

Wish that one day I’d touch someone like Veronica has touched me

This can’t be happening

I never thought I’d be reduced to this, sitting in a road side buka and watching people eat. O well! We should all get to experience new things daily. It’s the spice that gives life its pep.
The buka isn’t half bad, a little tight tough, ok ok! Very tight and crowded but the food is decent (I think) I only had liver and small dodo *fried plantains* and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The liver was tasty and it took me down memory lane to when my grandmother used to sell peppersoup in her bar, she’d reserve liver for me daily.

I had a nice time there. Want to say a gargantuan thank you to the friend who took me there, you know you’re the bestest.
This lagos rains no dey fear God again, the weather is so cold… Wish I had someone to snuggle with.

A naughty someone sent this picture after reading this post, decided to edit it and add it

Back in the day

This is one of my favourite poems, I wrote it for my friend and sister from the point of view of a frustrated admirer. I wrote this in lesd than five minutes, it just flowed out. Here goes nothing…

I loved and worshipped you
You didn’t appreciate either
I gave you my heart,  you vomited on it.
Yet here you are, in love with another man.
I see you give him the love you denied me
I hear you tell him things you never told me
You’re intimidating everyone with your love for each other

My scatterbabe
You killed my ability to love
Yet my broken heart still beats for you
I wish you all the best with your new found love
I loved you so much
I love you so much
I will always love you
           Your King

Moonlight

Another poem from 2010
               MOONLIGHT
Moonbeams so shy,
Silver light so fine
Cloaking the world with beauty ethereal
Delicate as a spider’s first web
Is your beauty simply fragile and shy
Or swirl with lurking evil
When you cast your pale glow on the earth
The spirits sing and the bats and owls dance.
Chickens run amuck on the streets
And yes the black goat may be found.

Throwback poetry

Two weeks ago I was searching for a gown I used to wear a while ago, I didn’t find the gown but I found some of my old jotters and in them found some old poems.
This is the first of them, this was written for my boyfriend at the time, sometime in 2010.

You’re the part that makes me whole
Fulfilling my every hour
Words cannot express what you mean to me
Your touch gives me wings to fly
Your eyes, a steadying and encouraging force
When I’m with you, the world is beautiful
Life, a little less jarring
You show me things I would never have known
You guide me through life’s uncertain paths
How I love you, warrior mine
You mean all the world to me
You’re my fantasy and ecstasy
You’re my wildest dream.

I remember his reaction when I gave it to him to read, he rolled his eyes, today I can understand why. Nobody impacts wisdom like life sha.
Although we’re no longer together, I’m glad for the time we spent together, my life would have been much duller without him. Didn’t they say it’s better to love and lose than not to love at all? Because of him, I know it’s true

MissUnderstood Me, Badass Me

This evening I walked down Bode Thomas on my way back from work, I had my earphones on and was listening to music on my phone. The songs were randomly selected by my phone’s shuffle, that way I get to listen to a greater variety of songs.
Suddenly I heard the opening strains of the soundtrack of my preteen years and one of my favourite songs even now “English man in New York” by Sting.
I felt giddy, it was like I was eleven years old again, angry with a world I couldn’t quite fit into or even understand how it worked. Listening to English man in New York always comforted me, I wasn’t the only alien (I was just furthest from home, Jupiter to earth is quite a distance) and someone understood the way I felt, he even wrote a song about it. One day when I’m grown, I’d find other aliens and maybe they’d teach me how to fit in.
I never did find any of the other aliens but I did find wonderful people who helped me see that being different could be cool and of course we all had different drummers to dance to and just because mine was playing looney tunes didn’t mean he is any less of a drummer.
The song is still playing and I have a smile as big as a mountain. I’m still misunderstood, a little kooky and can still read people like they’re my shopping list. But that’s ok, it’s who I am, it’s how I roll. Didn’t have to fit in to find my place in the sun, abi under the stars…
              Alien Ninja

Time and again

A table between us…
A wedding around us…
None of that matters

I’m looking at the couple, he’s in my line of vision
He’s stealing glances like a  pro,
Our eyes meet time and again, my heart skips in that rhythm

“I met a guy” I tell him
“I liked him” I said
“But I didn’t talk to him”, a wry smile creases my face
“I haven’t felt that kind of attraction before, it scared me”
Now he’s rolling his eyes
“Not everyone gets romantic arrhythmias”
“Should have jumped at it” he shakes his head

How do I tell him I didn’t want to act on it
I was satisfied with stolen glances and half smiles
Didn’t want to get to know him
What if he had bad breath, a serial kisser or had no imagination?
Or turned out to be just a man.

An image floats in my mind
A daughter with his eyes and a son with his nose and lips,
A baby at my breast, this one looks just like me.
Ada’s bored and she comes to me
“Tell me the story” she commands
“What story?” I reply, a glint lights my eyes
Rolling her beautiful eyes at her forgetful mother
“How I came to this world” is her tight lipped reply
“I went to a wedding”…

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