“I will NEVER call my son from his room to come and hand me the remote that’s next to me like my parents did.
#BreakTheCycle”- Chike Delic Obi.
So I saw Chike’s post on Facebook about breaking the cycle and a certain mocking comment “Don’t worry when the time comes” prompted this post.
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My grandfather liked to tell the story of how the world came to be. God gave man only one thing as he descended from heaven and that was a palm nut, he planted it and its leaves helped to make man’s shelter, kept the shelter and environment clean, provided kindling for his fire, the wine kept him from losing his mind in the harsh world he found himself and its fruit gave him two different oils. The oil from the pulp to make his soup and to be the bride of the king of food- roast yam (the man loved his roast yam!) and oil from the seed, or kernel if you like, to anoint his skin and hair and to save his children from evil and its manifestations like convulsion and fever. It was the second oil that put my brother and me in trouble many years ago.
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Earlier today, I was browsing through the videos on my phone looking for redundant videos to delete. I have dozens of videos that were donated to my phone from WhatsApp groups and a certain friend in obodo Amelika who sends me every funny video he discovers and the unfunny, scary ones too. When I got to the December 2016 videos, the thumbnail of one of them brought back memories that had me chuckling even before I opened the video. Continue reading →
When I was five years old, I was chubby or fat or plump or whatever adjective that can be used to describe a child with an abundance of flesh. I had a neighbour called Chinyere- that was her real name, if she has issues with my writing her name here- she should come to my house and beat me. Continue reading →
After 32years and 10months of excellent, unbroken service to the Lagos state Ministry of Education, my father bowed out formally yesterday at his last school which ironically is in the same compound he started out, came in as education officer 2 and classroom teacher and retired as Director and Principal. Continue reading →
Chidi’s birthday is today, so I wrote her a tiny message on Facebook and I’m sharing it here.
We first met on the comment section of an awesome blog in 2014, we clicked so well that we moved it to WordPress where she runs an amazing blog where she dispenses smarts and horror stories for my birthday, then we moved to WhatsApp and finally Facebook, last year. Continue reading →
I was writing about going to ‘Mango village’ while I was in JSS1 with Glory (I can’t remember if Martha came with us or if she was supposed to be the sentry} but as I wrote, I remembered the story you are about to read and began to write it instead.
When I was in JSS1, I was a bony, big eyed bibliophile who had only one bucket, a green OK plast contraption that provided for all my needs which was only one- washing my body. I washed my clothes at the tap and formed a pouch with my house wear, as other girls did, for taking the clothes to the dormitory without needing a container for them. You didn’t need a bucket of water to flush the toilet, you simply needed a paper or leather (nylon) bag and a good throwing arm for flinging the products of your business far into the corn farms that framed the back of our dormitory. If you were not in the frame of mind to expose your tender buttocks to other girls and most importantly, the teachers in staff quarters who used the road a few meters across from Culverwell, you would brave the faecal landmines to have only the budding ears of corn and God as witnesses to your bowel unloading activities. Continue reading →