Stuck on you

Stuck on you
I’ve got this feeling down deep in my soul that I just can’t lose
Guess I’m on my way
Needed a friend
And the way I feel now I guess I’ll be with you ’til the end
Guess I’m on my way
Mighty glad you stayed

I’m stuck on you
Been a fool too long I guess it’s time for me to come on home
Guess I’m on my way
So hard to see
That a woman like you could wait around for a man like me
Guess I’m on my way
Mighty glad you stayed

Oh, I’m leaving on that midnight train tomorrow
And I know just where I’m going
I’ve packed up my troubles and I’ve thrown them all away
‘Cause this time little darling
I’m coming home to stay

I’m stuck on you
I’ve got this feeling down deep in my soul that I just can’t lose
Guess I’m on my way
Needed a friend
And the way I feel now I guess I’ll be with you ’til the end
Guess I’m on my way
I’m mighty glad you stayed

A friend of mine likes Stuck on you by Lionel Richie, I used to like it a lot too but I’m not so sure anymore. You see the song talks about the woman who’s there while our singer went about enjoying himself and being a fool. I dislike the sexist attitude that the woman should remain pure as driven snow while the man sows his oats and when he’s done his bit, he comes back to her now fully appreciative of what he has in her. Absolute balderdash! If you’re foolish enough to run rings around me, you should live with the consequences, I’m not having your oat sowing self in my life, if you’d sown plantains that would have been a different story.
I’m a huge fan of Lionel Richie, as I write this ‘Penny lover’ plays on my note 10.1 and that song has been one of my favourite songs from age four (inherited my love for Lionel from my mum) even when I didn’t understand what he was saying Lionel has always been able to touch my heart. “Sail on” just came on 🙂 it’s an awesome breakup song, in the league of Cher’s Believe and of course “I will survive” by Gloria Gaynor.
I’ll be doing a series on my favourite songs, guess it will help me blog regularly. Of course I’ll be starting out with my first love L.R

Let it go

“Let It Go”
The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation,
And it looks like I’m the queen.
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried!
Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know!
Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door!
I don’t care
What they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway!
It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all!
It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me I’m free!
Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You’ll never see me cry!
Here I stand
And here I’ll stay
Let the storm rage on!
My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I’m never going back,
The past is in the past!
Let it go, let it go
And I’ll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone!
Here I stand
In the light of day
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway!

The lyrics above are from the song “Let it go” one of the songs from the motion picture “frozen”. I’d hated the song because it won the Oscar instead of “Happy”, however yesterday I was watching a parody video of the song, mummy version and I was struck by the instrumentals on the song, (or maybe it’s just because “you” liked it) looked for the song on youtube, watched the video and fell in love. I downloaded the song and have been listening to it a lot, now I see why it won the Oscar, beef na bad thing sha!
I have a phenomenal memory for conversations most times, I can remember conversations that took place when I was four years old (but if you send me on an errand, I always manage to forget, daddy says the memory works only when it favours me) most times I can give you the place and time we had a certain discussion. The downside of this, is that I have a hard time forgetting the things that hurt me, moving on is not clear cut for me, memories could come at the drop of a hat and I can keep talking about the stupidest things that have happened (sorry Hero for boring you with silly stories that don’t concern you and thank you for not rolling your eyes when I start my T stories *I know I would* guess that’s why the vatican is considering you for sainthood, gosh! I let the cat out of the bag).
The song reminded me to slam the door and walk away, distance will make it seem small eventually. I’m not perfect, have messed up (mummy and daddy don’t read this) and made mistakes, have had setbacks, so what? I’m crazy, will say what’s on my mind, incapable of pretense though I wish I could pretend sometimes, love without reservations, and have the temper of a tigress in labour, yes I’m not your average good girl, I don’t even like them anyway.
So I’ll let go, the memories, the limits my mind had placed, let me be all I can be, soar to the skies and if I crash, you’ll never see me cry.
  Although this is a personal epiphany, I’m sharing this because one day I’ll want to remember how I felt right now… And how blessed I am for the gift of my friend “baby” who I’ve not had to tell “you don’t understand” because he gets it everytime! You’re amazing and I’m glad I have you at such a time like this.
  PS my parents occasionally read my blog, I can imagine how alarmed they’d be if they read this, won’t do anything you’d cringe about but there’d be some changes in your daughter.

James 3 vs 5-12

I saw this post on wordpress reader (I love wordpress reader, the posts there replenish the IQ points I lose when I visit certain gossip blogs). It reminded me of an experience I had several years ago about idle words and consequences.
I just entered 200 level and narrowly missed getting hostel accommodation, that year Uniben introduced a crazy system where students would have to queue (according to their faculties) in front of the students affairs building to get the hostel application scratch cards. Complete madness I tell you, getting the cards was harder than an elephant going through the eye of the needle. When I finally got the card- they closed the site. When they finally opened the site… I got to the cafe late and couldn’t secure a system (I hadn’t yet learnt to use my feminine wiles, big wink), by the time I got a system, the spaces were exhausted.
With bed spaces going for exorbitant prices which this Mbaise gal wasn’t going to pay for; even on an angel dust trip, overcrowded rooms and dirty hostels were not even my thing in the first place. Had no option but to consider moving off campus, my friends (who were in the same boat) and I formed a house search network and farmed ourselves to different places to search. Lectures had started and 2nd year pharmacy isn’t beans by any stretch of the imagination, we had to search fast and get settled. Finally we found a place in the dingy outskirts of Ekosodin- the notorious den of robbers and cultist, but desperate girls don’t ‘curr’. It was just one room and three of us had to share it, at that point I was even ready to buy a hostel bed space sef. We paid for the place, arranged it and moved in.
I was the last to move in, my situation was less desperate than the others, I was staying in my uncle’s house near Uwagboe (a suburb in Benin-City. I moved in on the third Saturday in January, and settled in that day. The next day, after church service, I decided to go and read in one of the LTs at the Faculty of Agriculture. On my way there, I ran into a friend who was also going in the same direction and we talked and talked.
I explained that I was going to be sharing a room with two other ladies and he had a violent reaction to my news. He was totally against the idea, three women in one was a sure recipe for quarrels and fights, we’d never get along. A part of me got incensed. How dare he say such things about women, (never mind that I’d had the same thought, us sistas have to stick together and defend each other in public at least) so I kept telling him “we’ll live in peace and won’t quarrel, we’re adults afterall, besides we three are nice people” for the next 500metres we kept at it, finally I got to my destination, went in and read. End of story?
Not quite! Two years later my roommate and I were talking about unreasonably foolish men (our second favourite topic) and she said “remember that your friend that was insisting that we’d quarrel and fight daily” I had no idea what she was talking about, she stated the location and time and I was flummoxed! You see, I had no idea she was even going out that day. She not only heard that conversation, she remembered it word for word! Now what if I had said something bad about her, or just said something unflattering about the new living arrangements? I would have soured the relationship before it had a chance to start. I had tears in my eyes at her next words, she said “and that’s when I knew we were going to be sisters, I knew then you’re an okay babe”. Till today I get shivers when I remember that incident because Chinwe is one of the biggest blessings of my life and I’d have soured it by a few loose words.
Matt 12vs 36 says we’ll give account for every idle word spoken, this post is not about the power in words and speaking positively but being mindful of what you say anywhere you find yourself, you never know who’ll be walking past. Let me close with a story I saw online.
In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?”

“Wait a moment,” Socrates replied. “Before you tell me I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Test of Three.”

“Test of Three?”

“That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my student let’s take a moment to test what you’re going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

No,” the man said, “actually I just heard about It.”

“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?”

“No, on the contrary…”

“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him even though you’re not certain it’s true?”

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued. “You may still pass though, b ecause there is a third test – the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?”

“No, not really.”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?”

The man was defeated and ashamed. This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem. It also explains why he never found out that Plato was banging his wife…
The last line is a kicker, innit?

Grapevine

Where’s he? I ask
Shifty eyes and dropped gazes were my answers
I hear myself say “I’ll wait for him”
“No you can’t” replies your friend….
My eyes dart to his face in shock.
Shrouded in a merciful fog, I float away
The world had no penetrative power
What just happened? What’s the true story?
I find myself on my bed
Strange wetness on my pillow, was I crying?
I hear myself wail, but the cocoon protects me still

Ukwu Sugar walks in….
She lets me breathe on her, huge thirsty breaths
Then she tells me that which I was the last to know…
It’s the same old story…
She’s your friend’s little sister…
She comes around all the time
She cooks your meals and does your laundry
She’s the one “who’s there for you” while I toil to get my degree….

“Wipe your eyes” she says, “you’ll find better”
You and I know it’s not possible
Who can I love like I love, sorry loved you…
I wonder how you think she’ll love you more than I have…
Marvin Gaye’s “I heard it through the grapevine” rings in my head…
I’ve finally lost my mind.

My father, my blessing

I was eight years old when I discovered my father didn’t know everything, I asked him when rapture would take place and he said “I don’t know”, I have barely gotten over that shock. He knew so much, like how many grains of rice was in a spoonful, the day the Berlin wall came down…

When I was growing up, I used to read a lot of novels and was always encountering new words, I’d always ask him for their meaning and his answer was invariably “bring the dictionary and look it up” that answer annoyed me to no end, this man went to school to study English language and he’d been teaching the same English language longer than I’d been alive, yet he wouldn’t tell me the meaning of anything. Now I’m glad he made me learn to search for answers myself and not wait to be spoon fed.

Today’s Father’s Day and I ponder on the many ways my dad has shaped my life, he taught me how to think logically, how not to take decisions based on emotional persuasions and how to see all the angles, I may not have been the best student but I had the “bestest” teacher.
As the eldest child he always tried to instill a sense of responsibility for my younger brothers in my actions, at the time it was annoying. Now I’m glad that my brothers and I are extremely close and they can come to me when they need a listening ear. he also insisted we share everything, right down to a bottle of coke.

My father was and is a storyteller per excellence, he told the most interesting stories. When he talked about history you can all but stretch your hand and touch the era in question. His stories about being a soldier in the civil war were so vivid that it took his both parents and my mum to jointly tell us my dad was too young to have fought in the war, yet a part of me still believes he saw battle. His stories about his university days while causing my brothers and I to roll our eyes at his description of how frugal he was, but his stories also make me weep for Nigeria.

I can write books on my father and what he means to me, however all I’ll say is Happy Father’s Day Nnam, I love you so very much
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Pancakes Adaeze’s way

Disclaimer: my pancakes are not the conventional pancakes but if you want a delicious and time efficient meal…
To start with you need the following
Eggs
Milk (preferably liquid)
Flour
Sugar
A pinch of salt
Flavour *optional*
Raisins *optional*
Basically you can add anything you like and you can tweak the recipe to suit your taste.
Today I made pancakes for two people, my mother and I. We’re light eaters so I made very little ingredients…

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One cup of flour, one egg, a tin of peak milk, a quarter cup of sugar and half teaspoon of coconut flavour.
I like to use either nutmeg or coconut flavour for my pancakes because of their nice scent and their ability to stimulate the taste buds.
First I beat the egg and add the milk. I used the whole tin because I wanted the heft that milk gives it. You can actually make pancakes without milk… My aunty makes them without milk and I’m not too fond of her version.

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Then I added the sugar and just enough water to dissolve it plus a pinch of salt and then stirred the mixture to dissolve the sugar.
Finally I added my flour and half teaspoon of flavour. I usually use coconut creme flakes unfortunately I ran out of it and had forgotten to restock. I then stirred the batter to get a smooth paste. My mum likes her batter a little watery, it makes the finished cakes light and flat, I like mine a little thicker so I can finish frying faster *wink*
I heat oil till it was very hot and then added four big spoonful of batter into my frying pan.

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Waited for it to brown, turned it over and….

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Dinner is ready.
You can have it with tea or anything at all, even water…
The whole process took less than 15 minutes.
Pancakes are one of the pillars of my cooking repertoire and believe me there’s nobody I’ve ever made it for who hasn’t begged, yes begged! to have me make it again for them… You can bet it’s my go to meal when I want to impress.
PS I’m getting better at the cake baking thing, the last batch of cakes I made impressed me a little… I want to thank my friend Hero who helped me bake albeit in the spirit and who’s the most supportive and affirming friend ever, I’m triple lucky to have you and I pray that God will give you the twins you crave when it’s time *dodges blows and tickles*
PPS: someone might wonder “whatever happened to your weight loss odyssey” and to you I say… I no go die because say I dey lose weight, once in a while I’ll eat what pleases me.

A fitting cliché

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I don’t need your money mister man, I make my own
I so do not need your gifts, you probably won’t know what I like
I don’t need your direction, my parents didn’t raise no fool
I don’t need you to shield me, Honey I’m tougher than you
I don’t need you to understand politics, computers, sports… My father and brothers were great teachers
I don’t need you to “provide” for me, my father didn’t  send me to school
and pay school fees for twenty one years for me to end up a trophy on your shelf.
All I need is your time, your affection, your attention and respect.
I need to be to know I’m important to you, to know I run through your mind more than once daily.
With that we’re good.