Young man walks in, can’t be a day above 23 even though his eyes tell of stories decades older than him.
It’s a little after 8am and he’s the second person to walk in. The first is an earnest, handsome man in his 30s who doesn’t read the signs on the doors and makes two mistakes.
He’s good natured about them and has a truly beautiful smile. He keeps smiling and laughing and trying to make conversation as he gets his item. I do not smile back, I have a feeling he’s trying to avoid going to work early and I will not be used as an excuse. I’m already at work š
Nearly thirty years ago, Gary Chapman wrote and published a book titled āThe Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mateā. The book has since become a bestseller (has been on NYT list non-stop for over a decade) and has become a cornerstone in Christian marriage counselling.
I donāt think Iām tired of this blog yet but itās getting harder and harder to put my thoughts out here and even on social media if Iām being completely honest. I donāt know why this is, why I want to keep my thoughts to myself for the most part, I wonder if Iāll ever be able to regain the freedom to share my thoughts as I did in 2016 especially. I’m going to ramble a little on this post, I’m abandoning order.
I probably have a thousand favourite songs and one of them is the No 1 hit by KC & The Sunshine Band ā Thatās The Way I Like It. I am extremely partial to songs made in the 1970s ā funk, rock and disco ā the unholy trinity that gets me into nirvana. I like 70ās pop and soul too but I think those genres really got great in the 1980s and of course Jazz is timeless, no era can lay claim.
Two things triggered this post, someoneās tweet about celebrating her boyfriendās 33rd birthday and Ifedioraās Facebook post about beer.
As a child, I absolutely loved the adverts on TV and radio. I preferred adverts to TV shows, often being annoyed that boring TV shows were interrupting my adverts. Perhaps I was more drawn to the songs, Iāve always been more interested in music than anything else.
Thursdays was my favourite day of the week because Lever Brothersās 8pm slot had my favourite adverts, from Treetop to Breeze soap to Walls Ice Cream (I can still sing the complete song and I can probably write a one-thousand-word post on my memories of that brand of ice cream) and of course, planta margarine with the family descending the stairs and how it made want to be grown up for some reason.
I remember Checkmate as being this incredibly annoying show which interrupted my adverts on Thursdays. The only thing I remember about the show was Uncle Norbert Young played a professor in it and there was a young lady called Tamuno who was blackmailing him or something. Funny, I donāt even remember RMD from the show, just the professor and Tamuno and the Fuji family.
But Beer adverts had my entire heart, from Gulderās Ultimate advert with the Rolls Royce as the ultimate car, Everest and diamond as the ultimate in their category and gulder the ultimate beer to Guinness power adverts, I loved them all. My favourite one however, was Starās Share the Brighter Life advert.
It couldnāt have been more perfect if I had directed it myself, the bright lights and happy people who were clinking glass as white bubbles floated on the gold liquid which called my name. I wanted to be grown up so bad, to be an adult who would go to parties and share the brighter life while drinking that beautiful liquid.
I am still puzzled by my reaction to the partying in that advert because I have never liked parties. When I look at the pictures from my first birthday, I always chuckle at the varied expressions of discomfort on my face. The older me recognizes all of them, I wanted to be away from the noise and the pesky children.
In this picture, I was definitely wishing I were a thousand miles away from the party.
Even now, if I look at you with my lips twitched like that… Run!
Uncle Nnamdi was concurrently the best uncle in the world and the coolest person ever, you could tell him anything ā literally anything at all, and he would take it seriously and you could have an actual conversation about it. He didnāt snitch or preach, he would listen and give advice that made more sense than anything weād ever heard before.
One day when I was seven, Uncle Nnamdi was around that evening and we were all watching TV. After singing along to the star advert on TV, I went to meet him where he was perched on the sofa with one leg folded under him as was his usual custom.
He rubbed my head ā another usual custom of his, as I sat next to him while the questions burning my mind were speeding up my throat. He was the only person I could have this conversation with without getting a shouting or lectures or reminders about my being a child. I was seven years old at the time and inside my head I was a grown woman.
I really hated being a child but my true hatred was reserved for the occasions when someone said, āScosco/Adaku/Nnedi youāre just a child and you canāt do this or you canāt understand that because youāre a childā. Uncle Nnamdi never did that, he would explain anything I wanted to know with a fascinating story. He and his immediate elder sister ā my mother, could make up stories instantly about any topic and for many years, I thought those stories were gospel.
I asked him how adults could bear to drink beer even though it was very bitter, I was asking because I wanted to start drinking Star lager but the bitter taste was a deterrent. I didnāt even know that I couldnāt even afford beer as I had no money. My grandmother (who lived nearby) sold drinks and at the time I didnāt know I needed money to get drinks, because if I wanted anything I would ask my grandmother and get it.
Was it still bitter in their mouths when they drank it? When would it stop being bitter for me? I asked. He told me my taste buds were not mature enough to taste the sweetness of beer, when I was grown up I would like it. On my thirty-third birthday, my taste buds would suddenly acquire the ability to enjoy the taste of beer. This was why there was a beer named ā33ā export lager beer because 33 was the age for starting beer.
āSo it would disappear like magic?ā I asked, for I wanted to be a glamourous magician when I grew up.
āExactly Computer, just like magic.ā He replied and rubbed my head again.
And so, I relaxed about the beer matter because I now understood beer was a thing to wait to grow up for. When I finally turned 33, I would drink beer and enjoy parties and share the brighter life without getting a headache about the noise people made in parties.
I have been excited about turning 33 since then, it is the only birthday which truly excites me. 18 was only noteworthy because I could get to vote and drive, neither of which I did at 18 anyway, but 33 was the real deal for me, the one which meant I was finally grown up.
I am still looking forward to turning 33 but for a long time I had forgotten exactly why 33 was so special (and not just because Jesus finished his earthly ministry at 33).
You know, Iād give anything in the world to be able to share a bottle of Star or ā33ā with Uncle Nnamdi on the cool December 31st evening of my 33rd birthday.
One of my absolute favourite songs is the monster hit Temptation by P-Square, itās a song that always gets me in a certain mood, always. Once upon a time, I was a very serious P-Square fan. I was the kind of fan who bought three copies of each album, played their songs often enough to drive the people who lived with me crazy, knew the lyrics to all songs by heartā¦ that sorta thing. Continue reading →
When my friends have sons, Iām always quick to claim the handsome boys as husbands for my future daughters. I probably have ten future sons-in-law and no daughters yet.
Earlier today I commented on Mimiās picture with my cute son-in-law looking very serious and Mimi said she was suspecting that my āin-lawshipā was scam. Her son is in primary school now and I booked him down at birth, his supposed wife is yet to show up. Continue reading →
Emporium of Words 