I have learned to be enough
To be me without guilt or fear
Without apology for the parts
That do not fit the world’s narrative
I have learned to be unafraid
To let heaven collapse atop quivering earth
To allow my words fly even if they will ignite
The fires that will turn me to immaterial ash
I have learned to love
Damning heartbreaks and salty tears without end.
To risk the universe for that speedy rush
Like untying my veins after heroin’s kiss
I have learned to hate
To let it fire capillaries and neurones,
To dance in the shadows of its fires
To remember that love cannot exist without its twin.
I have learned to be deaf
Again and again and again
If you say I cannot win,
I will not hear you too.
I have learned to sing the rhythms
and cadences of the women who came before me
To dance without hesitation or consideration
For my jerky arms and feet.
I have learned to live
And welcome death like a lover
So when all of this is over and I lie in eternal sleep
I want to say I was me and have it be true.