Finding Joy

I am tired of wandering in the dark, calling your name and finding silence.
I want to dance in the light and laugh in the rhythm of music.
I would die without joy, I wasn’t born for tears and pain.
All you have given me is despair for breakfast, anguish for supper.


Why do you want to quench my light?
Why is my laughter forbidden and joy shameful?
Why should I shirk from the things that bring delight?
Why should I become the shrunken robot you mould?


Because I have sat bemoaning my fate,
Because I have smiled as you planted your whip on my back.
Because I did nothing when you rubbed my face in maggot infested trash
Because I thought silence was virtue.


My words are weak and insipid,
Unlike you who breathes fire, with ice chips as echo.
My heart dissolves in the face of danger
Unlike you who has never heard the word cowardice.


Yet I will make my way through,
Live outside your suffocating shadow,
Find the joys I need to live.
Find the laughter that feeds my soul.


For Eka who wouldn’t leave….



      1. That makes it more painful. It’s heartbreaking to watch really… to see someone become a shadow of their former selves and still holding on with both hands

      2. I had a friend who dated this guy when we were in school and at a point my heart used to bleed for her, I believe our friendly support went a long way.
        Also, someone I know who got married about 7 years ago and now, I wonder if it’s the same person that cracked jokes with me years prior

  1. Domestic violence? Toxic relationship? I wondered…

    This well-written piece was pregnant with the pain of one who’s been oppressed for far too long.



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