How e come be say na you dey control my mumu button like how Okocha dey gum ball to im boot as twenty defenders dey chase am? You wey no even fine like that sef, with your k-leg and opolo eye and you no even dey try draw your eyebrow like your mates them. No be say na the better cloth you dey wear or long hair wey you kukuma get. No be say you no get your good points sha but I dey suspect say jazz dey involved for this matter.
Anytime I remember how I take jam you for the first time, I go just dey laugh like say na me be Dangote. You no remember how you dey form for me that day inside my bus, dey blow phoneh like say na from Yankee you just dey land from. Thank God say I still show you say I be correct guy, I even collect your number join, I no even look that your nonsense forming. When I call you that night, you just dey laugh like say I dey release laughing gas from the phone and the next morning na you first call me
Then that first day wey you come my house, I know say you been dey fear say I go try do you strong thing but as correct gentleman wey I be, I just dey look you like television. I know say you shock when I bring out that correct egusi soup, you been think say I no sabi cook but God pass you.
Remember how we go Ogba zoo that day and that monkey come dey like you, e remain small I for leave you for there, make una carry on with una love for dia. But na that day I know say I dey harsh for your matter, the kind jealousy wey hook me as una dey rap una phoneh together ehn! Na only God fit understand how the thing be. When you come dey laugh me when we dey your room, I nearly tear you better slap but na the vow wey I give my mama say I no go beat woman like my papa hold my hand Aisosa, if not I for redesign your face.
My Aduwawa winch, you done catch me finish. You come make me dey listen to blues dey think of your face. When you no dey with me, I dey miss you like say dem go pay me missing Aisosa salary. Baby I no dey fit stay without you, I know say I dey form hard man (man gats to form, if not you go dey do anyhow). Aisosa I love you pass how Jack take love Rose, I dey here dey listen to ‘Nothing’s gonna change my love for you’ and I dey rub my eyes make I no for cry, I no wan fall hand. All these your old school blues wey you don pack full my phone don turn me to something else but I like am sha, I like how you don change my life. In case you no know, I love you die.
Sugar mi, Bae of destiny, wetin you want for this valentine? Anything you point, I go buy, based on this love wey dey high me pass kwale Igbo. No go ask for wetin pass 5k sha, you know as my pocket be before.
Make I stop to dey write before I turn to Wole Soyinka on top your matter, I don talk say I love you like fifty times inside this letter but in case you don forget (you know say you too dey forget things, one day you go forget yourself join), I love you scatter.
Your only (I hope) boyfriend
-For Tamie; promise made, promise kept