I haven’t talked about feminism in a while around here, I have actually missed weighing in on issues with a feminist slant. Let me share a funny story- I shared these pictures with the caption #idon’tknowwhattosay on Facebook.
I was surprised when I got a comment from one of my senior colleagues that the reason I don’t know what to say is because my feminist pistol was emptied of its contents by RMD’s calm reply. I found it hilarious because I was just so amazed at Joro (I saw him in my dream this week, we were both in the US when I ran into him) and the people who send him stories. I normally dismiss Joro’s stories as made up but this one struck a chord, I have met a few young women who were so obsessed by a man that they even resorted to diabolical means to get such men.
I often get the questions why are you a feminist? What’s the difference between gender equality and feminism (none by the way) and who are your feminist role models (Chimamanda isn’t even in the top five). I’ll probably start a feminism series soon, however I saw a picture on facebook (I have a new crush btw) and I knew I had to write this post.
In real life, I am rather reserved and quiet. I am a typical wallflower and I do not mind- mostly, because I tend to listen more than I talk, people open up to me and tell me things. With older people (women especially) it’s almost crazy, they begin to tell me their life histories and pains and regrets. I was close to my grandparents before they departed from this world, maybe that’s where I get the patience and the knack for these encounters. The stories these women tell will break your heart, the kind of things they endured in the name of marriage upset me even now as I remember some of those stories. Maybe one day I will write some of those stories, when my blood doesn’t boil so much.
It is for this reason I laugh at people who talk about decaying morals being the reason more divorces are occurring these days due to their theory that our young women are weak and silly because they cannot endure like their mothers and grandmothers did and I always want to ask- Do you know what those women endured? Many of our octogenarians that are celebrating golden jubilees and collecting other marriage long service awards did not stay in those hellholes because they ‘come from a generation that fixes broken things and not throws them away’. Many of them stayed because of the crushing stigma that divorce carried back then (not even for them btw, but for their children especially their daughters who would have very low chances of getting married) and because these women had minimal education that equipped them with paltry skills that weren’t sufficient to provide their daily bread how much more butter and school fees.
Listening to these stories, observing the dynamics that run our society and writing stories I cannot even share with the world because they break my heart time after time, bring me to this point where being anything other than a fulltime feminist is ridiculous for me. Consider this entry one in the Feminism series.
PS: While I was writing this post, I came across the defence post written by John Edobor- the man accused of injuring his wife Ivie Edobor. Calling him a savage beast is an insult to savage beasts.