Pastor Adeboye’s comments to his members on marriage and the attributes of a “marriageable” woman has sparked up fierce debate in social media and out of it. I think the emphasis on cooking and laziness and length of prayer time is hilarious, I have seen marriages fail with wives who are excellent cooks, harder workers than the average bee and who can conduct their own vigils by themselves. There’s much more to marriage than food and prayer but I am not married, am I? So I’m hardly an expert on marriage 😉


What has amazed me however is the reaction of many churchgoers- notice I did not use the word Christians, on posts that are critical to Daddy GO’s statements. They start with “touch not my anointed sayeth the lord”, “Be careful” or “Be warned”. Be warned always makes me want to giggle- if you ever want me to take you seriously, never warn me about something or use that phrase, I’d just start laughing.


It’s funny how many people who carry bibles about, even the ones who disturb our peace- especially those beautiful last hours of sleep in the name of Morning Cry, do not know the contents of the Book they carry.


Who says your pastor is infallible? Who says you cannot call your pastor to order when he deviates from the path God has assigned to him or even when he does or says things that make no sense? Remember when Paul called Peter to order in Galatians 2:11-14. Don’t worry I’ll type it out in full.

“When Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face because he was clearly in the wrong.

Before certain men came from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles. But when they arrived, he began to draw back and separate himself from the Gentiles because he was afraid of those who belonged to the circumcision group.

The other Jews joined him in his hypocrisy even Barnabas was led astray.

When I saw that they were not acting in line with the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter in front of them all, “You are a Jew, yet you live like a Gentile and not like a Jew. How is it, then, that you force Gentiles to follow Jewish customs?

Before you tell me that Paul was anointed too, Peter and Paul were not on the same level- nowhere near the same level at that time. Not only had Peter been with Christ for the full duration of his earthly ministry as opposed to Paul who only saw him in a vision. Peter (as any Roman Catholic worth her salt would tell you) was the rock/foundation on which Christ built his church. No one comes close to Peter today in stature and authority, not the Adeboyes, or Oyedepos, or Okohs, or Idahosas, or Hagins, or Copelands, not even the Pope. NOBODY!!! Yet Paul could tell him to his face and in the presence of witnesses that he was doing wrong.


But when did Christianity become synonymous to docility? That to be Christian means to swallow any hogwash just because it comes from a man with a cassock. I bet you all know that Jesus dude, yes the one who we’re supposed to be like- Christian= Christ like? Didn’t your bible tell you how even as a boy he had read his scriptures and could challenge even the teachers on the law? That guy took on Pharisees and Priests, he was a simple carpenter who was not even educated but he was knocking out those guys intellectually with the same scriptures they had dedicated their whole lives to studying. If you are a Christian, you too should be like him- rightly dividing the word of truth for yourself. He was so gracious as to also send us the Holy Spirit as our teacher, guide and comforter.


You don’t need a pastor to tell you how to live your life, who to marry and how to marry or any of that crap that they like to impose on their congregations. You have the word of God for yourself and the Holy Spirit too, your pastors might be wise men and women but they should never replace your brains, your Bible and the Holy Spirit. Use your brains my people! Even Jesus asked us to be as clever as serpents… You didn’t know this?! Matt 10:16 has your answer.

PS there’s another Bible verse we like to throw around when people criticise our pastors- Romans 14:4

“Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.”

Anytime I see someone throw that quote in defence of their pastor, I laugh because it’s obvious that they haven’t read it for themselves, just chanting a quote their pastor drummed into their heads. I really wish they’d read the full chapter though.



  1. 😃, I’m just glad I’m off social media at this point. Funny stuffs.

    “There are thousands who seem ready to believe anything in religion if to hear it from an ordained minister. They forget that clergymen may err as much as laymen. They are not infallible. Their teaching must be withheld in balance of holy scripture.” – J.C. Ryle


  2. Hi Adaeze,

    What a conicidence! This was fodder for office banter today, let’s just say we chewed upon it reflectively (read argumentatively) and then finally agreed to disagree. 😀

    According to my colleague, It would seem that only an excerpt of the full sermon was plucked out for the purpose of social media sensationalism.

    The way I see it, prayer warriorship and excellent cooking does not a good wife make.


    1. Prayer warriorship made me laugh!
      Pastor Adeboye broke the Internet jare whether it’s an excerpt or not. But there’s way he didn’t mean what is being bantered upandan.


  3. I deliberated on whether or not to drop a comment on this as i find commenting on blogs stressful. This ‘sermon’ was preached quite a while ago to pastors and workers of RCCG not even to regular church-comers, people that are held to a higher standard than others, not because they are better than others but because they are leaders and if the devil wants to attack what better way to attack the sheep than through the Shepherd. It makes sense for a minister to be advised to marry a woman who can pray for “1hour” (even though i think he meant it figuratively), a woman who is spiritually sound because one’s spouse is an easy channel to pull the person apart. I think you should go read a full transcript of the ‘sermon’ to understand. In it he says “don’t marry a woman because she is in the choir, instead marry one who can pray for an hour” meaning to look beyond the superficial when finding a wife even among supposed christians. On the touch not my anointed thing, i do believe that when a man of God falters he should be corrected and i also believe that the correcters should be careful how they correct so as not to bring the wrath of God upon themselves. However in this case, i don’t see why the whole of nigeria is jumping to correct, his message was not meant for all nigerians or even all christians, it was meant for people that see him as a spiritual father and have been under his tutelage for a while. Remember what Apostle Paul said about “milk and bones”.


    1. Hi Colette,
      I agree that commenting on blogs can be stressful and I’m so glad you dropped two comments 🙂
      Pastor Adeboye’s words carry plenty weight, he’s revered in Nigeria and outside- he probably doesn’t know just how much influence he wields. I understand why we’re all wading into the matter, while he was talking to his pastors, his message was for every member of his church (one in every five Nigerian Christians attends RCCG). Another thing is 95% of RCCG pastors are married already, so his words aren’t really for them to use but to be filtered down to their congregations.
      I’m unmarried currently and if I’m in a relationship with an RCCG brother then his words have an effect in my life even though I do not attend his church.


      1. Lol. I think i see why u think it might affect you\ a lot of other nigerians. I attend RCCG, i know that the message was directed at pastors/ministers/workers (a good number of ministers and workers are yet unmarried) over a month ago which makes me wonder why it is just making rounds in the media this week, most probably media houses trying to generate unnecessary controversy. I cannot pray for 1hour but I’m not scared that my relationship with any RCCG brother is threatened because i know that i strive towards a better walk with God everyday which is what i think Pastor Adeboye meant, marry a lady (or man) who actually has a deep relationship with God (figuratively said as one who spends 1hour in prayer) as opposed to just marrying someone because they are in the choir or ushering department. I believe no sane man is going to actually going to use praying for one hour as the top or only criteria for picking a wife… how about if i can pray for only 45 minutes, does that disqualify me? You see it doesn’t make sense. Finally, you could try to read up the full message, i think you will get the context in which he said what he said if you keep an open mind.

  4. And oh…he is not trying to tell anyone who to marry as he has previously ‘forbidden’ pastors to arrange marriages between church members. I could go on and on but….


  5. Especially as there are many people that look up to Pastor Adeboye as their spiritual father, whether or not he meant his sermon for the rest of the congregation or figuratively, its very easy to misconstrue the original intention behind those words. Majority will take it literally, as they would feel “God spoke those words” and so, they wouldn’t want to falter in obedience. Ahhh


    1. Exactly!!!
      So many people will take his words as gospel whether that is his intent or not. We have seen people eat grass because Pastor said so, seen women refuse to wear underwear to church because pastor said not to and I remember those who destroyed their TVs because pastor said TVs are evil.


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