I thought of you as I swirled the water in my glass, wishing to God that it was Coca-Cola that bubbled in this waves I was making. I want to see your face, just so I’d be strong enough to sit still and ignore the voice in my blood that screamed for a hit of that brown liquid. Because I know you’d hate to see Coca-Cola in my glass.
Maybe it was the craving, maybe I missed you. Getting my pen to write to you was the logical thing to do, it made more sense than breathing. The paper isn’t white and I hope you wouldn’t mind, I just have to tell you I love you because I can’t remember the last time I said those words.
It was easy to forget the reasons you held my heart,
Easy to blame you for the pain from life’s fiery darts.
The pain that seems to have no break or pause,
Just because I only chose to see your flaws.
Do you remember when we were shiny and new?
Never thinking our glossy patina would turn murky blue.
Isn’t it funny how we thought we held the sun?
How could we have known how far we’d have to run?
When did I grow discontent,
And see us as something wrong and a little bent?
How did it happen that I thought,
That we had died inside and perhaps began to rot?
Even though I’d pumped us full of poison, I couldn’t let us die
Just as I couldn’t imagine living a life of just getting by.
So I drew my sword and fought for us,
Day and night I didn’t stop, how could I give up on us?
For thinking that I’d lose my way or stray,
Don’t you know with you, every day is payday?
Because when I look in the mirror and see your smile
I know everything was worthwhile
I want to write until the sun is buried, write until the inky blackness of night swallows me. I was always the theatrical one, wasn’t I? So I’ll stop here and fold the paper with great care, pepper the envelope with kisses and send it via a shooting star. And hope that when you read this, you’ll remember that you love me too.
Take care of you, heart of mine.