Party like 1985

When you see a woman in her forties, what comes to your mind? Wife? Mother? Boss lady? I bet you don’t see fun loving, hip or current. Unless of course she’s an extreme extrovert, no one would blame you for thinking that life has passed her by and she’s waiting until she has grandchildren and eventually for death in old age.

I used to have a video on my phone of my mother dancing to Shake by Flavour, Uwa Chia Chia by Sir Warrior and Adanma by Flavour. I have no idea where that video is but I used to love watching it because it made me smile. My mum is a good dancer, unlike my dad who gave me his dancing gene (don’t tell him I said so).

My dad asked me to attend a party with him today, the party was an end of year party for an old girls association. The school was the first school that my father taught in, he was only a few months older than I currently am when he started out in that school. He wanted me to come because he said some of them wanted to meet me, they’d always asked of me because he’d always talked about me. I believe him because even now he likes to mention us- my brothers and I, everywhere he goes. If he has to go to the hospital for any reason, the first thing he’d tell the doctor is that his daughter is a pharmacist and he’s only doing this because his wife talked him into it. Then imagine how extreme it was when his first child (Adaeze) was born… He must have bored everyone with stories of his amazing baby girl who looked like him and shared his birthday…

Going to the party meant missing Frances’s get together for single ladies, so I wasn’t the happiest person in the world as we left the house. The party turned out to be great, about forty women turned up and they had a helluva of a good time. Those women can dance! They were bursting skelewu, shoki and shakitibobo moves like they were nimble sixteen year olds, I wasn’t even that nimble as a sixteen year old. They had a talent show that featured two singers, two muslim women who could release a Christian album. They were that good! I felt energised by listening to them. Then came the main thing, a dance competition between three women.20151121_151000[1].jpg

The women looked like ordinary women in their forties, I know that I’ve emphasised that before but it really is amazing the way these women shed their middle aged toga and boogied. It was hard to decide who the winner was, they eventually settled on the woman on the middle who did a mean shakitibobo dance. After the talent competition came another round of dancing.
Remember that proverb about an old woman not being old when music from her youth comes on? It’s so frigging true! When Lionel Richie’s “All Night Long” came on? They sang every word and danced like they were teenagers. One woman in particular stood out for me, she wore a long jeans skirt and had her hair in a woven updo without jewellery or makeup. Seeing her anywhere you’d think she’s a very conservative Christian mother from one of those denominations that shun worldliness. You need to have seen her dance! Her shoki game was epic strong, never underestimate anyone folks. That mild and gentle old man that sells suya might just be an assassin or something…

One day I might write a book set in the 1980s, just because I like the music of that era and I really like to write about the songs. I have this theory that I had an alternate life where I was a party girl in the 1980’s, that’s probably the only sane reason that explains my love for the music of that time, I was dancing on my seat too- y’all should have seen me too, my chair dancing is unparalleled. I had a nice time and there was plenty to take home, from plates, soap, vegetable oil, trays, biscuits etc.

The best parties aren’t the ones with the most people but the ones which everyone has the most fun, this one was definitely part of the latter. I’d really like my wedding reception to be like this, small and intimate…. So help me God.

That’s how my Saturday went, tell me about yours… it’s only fair innit?

PS its Ini’s birthday, even though this is coming kinda late in the day but my birthday wish is no less valid, is it? Happy birthday darling. She blogs at Iniwrites



  1. Mami, you really had a fun filled day o… I can hardly remember the last time I had one seeef.
    Eeeh, those women in the age group you emphasised, usually because of the pressure on them from the society and their homes, it becomes like a taboo in their individual personal psychology to have fun the way you have described it here, except few. When they have such opportunities esp. among themselves, they tend to go all the way and even amaze themselves. Some even say to themselves and anyone that cares to listen “I don’t even know I know how to dance shoki”. They should express themselves more often jare and ease-off some stress and tension. The men are even worst…lol

    Happy belated birthday to Ini… you see, all these November birthday children are doing their birthdays on code. There is God watching them o.

    Egwumba’s Blog


    1. Ugo! You that has been turning up everywhere!
      You’re right societal and marital expectations tying them down but as you put it, they need to express themselves more often.
      How are you Nna?


  2. Hi Adaeze,

    Lol, you had a fun day.

    I spent my Saturday in Lagos market, it was a very hot day and with each drop of sweat trickling down my sticky back, I wondered why no one had invented an air-conditioned jacket yet.

    I love 80’s music too. I re-watched- Love and Basketball a week ago, the movie soundtrack has great songs from the eighties.

    Have a lovely week!


    1. An air conditioned jacket would be great! Especially with our humidity and heat. I think it can be done but it would be too heavy to be won unless there’s no gas compressor unit that goes with it.
      I haven’t seen love and basket ball… movies are not really my thing but if the music is dope, I’d search for it!


      1. Lol… I hadn’t even considered the finer details, someone else would have to invent a light-as-a-feather compressor to go with it.

        It’s a beautiful movie, one of my top 5.

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