The first part of this post has nothing to do with love and would probably have you scratching your head and thinking “where’s the lovey dovey part?” but stay with me, we’ll get there.
This morning I had an appointment in a street in Surulere called Itire Road, incidentally it’s the same Itire road I waited for Ugo when he got lost on his way to meet me. I’ll write about that day soon and tell y’all how they bounced our Leggedis Benz at Oriental Hotel. The appointment was set for ten and by nine o clock I was just leaving for the bus stop.
After waiting for almost fifteen minutes for a bus or keke that would take me to Masha, I decided to take a bike. The bikes were not even available so you can imagine my relief when I flagged one and he agreed to go to Masha, I didn’t even bother to ask the fare although it’s usually around two hundred naira. I rolled up my gown and climbed.
“See the road wey APC dey do” the okada man said.
I didn’t reply because I don’t like to be drawn into political discussions, there’s a kind of irrationality and illogicality that thrives in the Nigerian political space that I’m allergic to.
“After PDP people go talk say APC is not working” he continued.
Please note that the road we are plying is neither new nor undergoing repair, it was actually horrible and I was afraid of falling into one of the gaping portholes filled with thick brown water that looked like very rich chocolate tea.
“I dey tell my guy say APC dey do roads and many things but he no gree” he insisted
This time I had to respond, I said “Yes o!”
“Buhari don do many, many things na, see light, see roads, see water”
“Abi o” I responded.
“Very soon, Buhari go bring down the price of everything. He don tell traders make dem sell all their goods because from January he go make the price of things go down”
“Really?!!!” I say, barely hiding my smile.
My mind flashes back to the 1990s and the free everything myth about year 2000. Free wife in year 2000, free housing, free education, free clothes, free anything you can think of. Obviously, it didn’t work.
“Na im make everything dey expensive now, he don even give license for the people wey go import this cheap things, bag of rice and beans go be 3,000 and petrol go be 40 naira”
“God don bless us be that” was all I could say.
We find ourselves under Masha bridge and I ask him how much I should pay him.
“150” he replies
“shebi Buhari don make things cheap, why your price still high” I ask
“I try na, e suppose be 200”
I hand him a five hundred naira note and he gives me change.
I then look for a keke headed for Ojuelegba through the Itire road route and while I waited for other passengers, I decided to reply an email that my friend had sent me.
The email was a link about Melinda Gates celebrating her husband at sixty and talking about how they first met and how she thought he wasn’t spontaneous enough for her. That changed when he stepped up and blew her mind. I replied with the message below
See what I’ve been talking about! A little drama can spice things.
Can’t I find a guy like this? One who’d be willing to step out of the mundane and take a walk on the wild side with me.”
I can just see Ugo shaking his head at this one. When I get to the lady’s office, I couldn’t find any sign of activity and I brought my phone from my bag to call her when her call comes in. She apologizes for not being around and tells me that “something came up”. This was 9:43am.
I don’t understand how you’d give someone a 10:00 am appointment and tell the person to be there by ten sharp because you want to leave for the Island by 10:30 and you call that person less than twenty minutes to the scheduled time to cancel. Remember that this is a city with horrendous traffic and I live at another end of Surulere. I don’t need to tell you that she would not be getting my business, I’m not even sure that I’d be needing their services anymore. But if I have to, I’d definitely use another vendor.
Since I’m no longer in a hurry, I decide to walk back to Masha. I plugged in my ear phone and placed the buds in my ears and set my music selection on random.
After “If you’re not the one” by Daniel Bedinfield, a high life tune comes up. The tune sounds vaguely familiar and it wasn’t until I heard Sunny Neji’s voice that I placed the song- “Lovey Dovey” by Sunny Neji ft J’Odie. The same J’Odie who got married this weekend! Sunny is one my favourite Nigerian artistes from the days of Mr Fantastic to the Unchained album that had smash hits like Oruka- the wedding staple for the longest time, Face me, Tolotolo, the criminally underrated Ntishokarome- a ballad he wrote for his first child and Happy Birthday that had the very unusual name of the one-time love of my life as one of the party invitees.
Lovey Dovey was released in 2011 and at that time the internet was still a preteen and smart phones were owned by mainly the wealthy. That was when Sunny sang a song complaining about how cyberspace was destroying romance, I wonder what he’d sing in 2015.
The song starts with him saying he wants some lovey dovey, he continues by saying he doesn’t want Facebook love or Blackberry love- hey, it was 2011! We were still in the grip of BBmania. He wanted to know the colour of his lover’s love and he didn’t want her to use internet to cover the things in her heart or deceive her lover. Because he says, love shows in behaviour.
The chorus talks about how computer cannot replace that loving feeling, in his words.
“Computer no fit take the place of lovey dovey.”
Other gems in this song include
“Only your smile go stop my cry, now I know why some people dey die”
“Computer no fit to touch me, computer no fit to hold me, computer no fit to feel me like you”
For me this song was an arrow that lightly pierced my heart because my last relationship was almost exactly like this. We both lived and worked in Lagos but rarely got to see each other more than once a month- if we were lucky and that luck had a lot to do with plenty scheduling and cancelling. We chatted all the time, talked on phone every day but face to face contact was starved. When the cracks came, it was almost inevitable that we couldn’t survive. Now I’m not knocking the modern means of communication and the lifeline it offers to long distance relationships, but this wasn’t a long distance relationship by any means.
Although Ajah to Surulere is quite a distance but we could have tried harder I guess… Maybe next time, it will be different.
I have good news to share- Ebukun has a book out on Okada books. Here’s the link on how to buy the book, it goes for only two hundred naira and that’s a huge bargain if you ask me.
Have you ever been to Adaeze writes? No I’m not the Adaeze behind that fantastic blog, but trust me you’ll love the blog. I have a warning though- don’t go there if you don’t have at least two hours to spare because her stories will suck you in.
Finally, I’m going back to a series I started in January. I know I’m not the most hardworking writer in the world jare, biko accept me like that. Anyway here’s the link to the story, I need your honest feedback and criticisms- especially the criticisms. Thanks in advance.
PS: I’d soon report some bloggers to the police as being Missing In Action- number one will be my Adanne.