Month O’ love : Just the two of us

  This month its all about love songs on the blog. I was inspired to do this for two reasons, my cousin’s dope boyfriend who surmounted her formidable walls one love song at a time and my wonderful brothers who do not seem to have a romantic cell in their bodies.

Last year I had a conversation with my then twenty year old youngest brother and we were talking about relationships and I asked him about a particular girl he was close to and he mumbled that she wanted more than he was willing to give. My brothers and I have a pretty open relationship, and we talk about anything. It turns out that she wanted their relationship to be sexual, this girl was probably eighteen or nineteen at the time and she already felt that if my brother loved her then they should have sex.

Do I blame her? The world she finds herself tells her that if a man loves her, he’d desire her body and sexual intercourse is the pinnacle of love. Sadly that isn’t true, sex can be an expression of love but it isn’t a form of love and it doesn’t mean that love isn’t involved. If it did, then prostitutes and gigolos would be the greatest lovers innit?

The love songs she listens to tell her “he’ll love her booty and her luscious body”, the magazines she reads tell her “twenty ways to keep your man” and the first point is give him all the sex he wants. And the movies? Let’s not even go there! In a way, I’m doing this for her, featuring love songs that have nothing to do with sex. Love (romantic) can be beautiful without sex, in fact sex can be a distraction. If she chooses to have sex, then she should do it because she wants to explore her sexuality and not because she wants love. Besides at that age she should be more involved in getting the best education possible and thinking of how to set the world on fire rather than how to lure Adaeze’s baby brother into fornication. I understand the hormonal surges that come with being a teenager, I’m not being judgmental of her and her feelings, I just feel sad that she doesn’t know she has options.

Today’s song won the 1981 Grammy award for best R&B song and is a classic even today… thirty five years later.

Bill Withers – Just The Two Of Us

I see the crystal raindrops fall
And the beauty of it all
Is when the sun comes shining through
To make those rainbows in my mind
When I think of you sometime
And I want to spend some time with you

Just the two of us
We can make it if we try
Just the two of us
Just the two of us
Building castles in the sky
Just the two of us
You and I

We look for love no time for tears
Wasted water’s all that is
And it don’t make no flowers grow
Good things might come to those who wait
Not for those who wait too late
We gotta go for all we know

I hear the crystal raindrops fall
On the window down the hall
And it becomes the morning dew
And darling when the morning comes
And I see the morning sun
I want to be the one with you.

May the force be with you…



  1. The world is turning around so fast that the abnormal has become normal. Its so sad that women are the ones who are worse hit by this trend. I pray that people go back to loving each other just for the sake of love and not for physical beauty or whatever else they stand to gain.


      1. And you are doing a wonderful job of it! Your brothers are the next generation of fathers; if they’re this sensible then there is hope. Well done, Ada-Dadii. I’m of the firm belief that communication is indispensable in all relationships…we need to keep communicating, communicating and communicating some more.
        Well done, nwanne!

      2. Yay! She’s back! When are we getting new stories? A friend told me I sounded rather sanctimonious on the post, I just feel the next generation needs guidance and those of us who have walked that road recently are in the best position to do so.
        There’s nothing as important as communication…

      3. Nne, I am writing o! Okwa unu said I should write a book…I am trying to do that and battling with all manner of stories in my head while getting on with life. Odiro ofele.
        As for whoever told you you sounded rather sanctimonious, to each their own but you were spot on! Why would a teenager (‘cuz that what she is) worry about sex now? There is soooooo much time to have sooooo much sex that you will get tired and just want cuddles nothing more. I love the way your brothers are taking responsibility of their bodies and refusing to follow the trend. Sex can wait but opportunities may not and while you’re busy doing boyfriend/girlfriend, life will pass you by only for you to wake up with too many regrets! Everything has its time, including sex and to be honest, from what I’ve seen, it’s not when you’re young and not sure where you’re going.

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