Said I loved you

Michael Bolton is one of my favourite singers, or should I say used to be, seeing that I haven’t heard anything from him in the last ten years or so. I had a tiny crush on him about twenty years ago or so, I thought his hair was one of the most beautiful things I’d ever seen and his face was interesting. In my mid to late teens, I rediscovered Michael and very soon “Soul provider”, “how am I supposed to live without you” and other ballads became part of my easy listening staple. However my runaway favourite was “Said I loved you”.

I’m probably one of the most unromantic people you’ll ever know, I guess it’s because I was exposed to love songs very early and my early reading material were mainly romances. Resistance set in and today I have no idea how to be romantic, or how to respond to romantic gestures for that matter. However I still enjoy listening to love songs, they have the best production! They are very relaxing and peaceful. Anyway, “Said I loved you” was usually my first choice of music when I was upset.

Over time I outgrew the song but it was still a special song to me. On Saturday I was at work and a young lady came in with a wild weave that reminded me of my erstwhile crush and my one time favourite song. As soon as she left I went to look for my Michael Bolton songs on phone and started with “said I loved you”. I wasn’t feeling the familiar mellow feeling but I felt irked. Soon it became apparent what my peeve was.

The offending lines were “this is more than love I feel inside” and “love can never ever feel so strong”. Even if I weren’t a Christian and have the definition of love in my bible, yes the very simple- God is love. I’d still be offended by the triteness in the description of love, especially bearing in mind that Michael hasn’t even had a stable love life. It’s sad how love has become a word bandied and bartered without any thought, it’s sad how we describe infatuation by saying it’s bigger than love. Nothing is bigger than love, nothing! Why would any bone head even think that. Another favourite song “breathless” has Shayne Ward saying “this feeling I feel is stronger than love, believe me”. I really think I should stop listening to secular music.

A certain married senior colleague told me in 2008 that you can’t say you love someone if you can’t give them your kidney should they need one. He told me when those feelings start bubbling in you like champagne, ask yourself “can I give him my kidney?”. I laughed hard at his “sage” advice but it’s saved me several times from being carried away by my feelings, I always ask myself the kidney question or put my own twist on it.

Love is no joke, it’s everything that God is. We shouldn’t treat it with levity just to get a roll between the sheets or a ring on the left hand.

PS One of Michael’s songs- “how am I supposed to live without you” talks about how he loved someone without telling her, it’s a rather tragic song in the vein of “living next door to Alice” by Smokie. In this year of lord 2015, no one should be singing such songs, if you love someone then let them know. The worst that can happen is that they’ll tell you they don’t feel the same way, you’ll definitely feel terrible but at least you can move on.



  1. Hehehe…mami…I loved Micheal Bolton too at a time…and just like you, I outgrew him….Love used to be the basis for a relationship to me until I met my husband….I realized that love is ‘that first brick you use in laying a foundation’…buh you gotta understand that One brick is NOT enough to call that layout a foundation….you need other bricks…in this case, that will be understanding, respect, attitude and a whole lot of others….Love is a key player buh it’s not strong enough to stand alone…


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