Caveat emptor

I’m currently at work- evening shift and I’m already feeling drained. I’d been thinking of what to write about all day, nothing popped. I’d already resigned myself to putting up a pseudo-haiku or something close. Then a random conversation gave me this post

A certain customer from the northern part of Nigeria walked in and exchanged pleasantries with us, and proceeded to tell me he wanted to marry one of my colleagues. He wanted a haematinic (blood tonic) that would make him “fresh enough” for her. He had a condition though he wanted an “igbo marriage”. He explained that an igbo marriage involved testing the goods before buying. All the igbo boys in his garage (he’s a mechanic) swore by it, the woman had to get pregnant before marriage.

I don’t really believe in ethnic stereotypes, I do believe in environmental stereotypes because we are more likely to be influenced by our environment and the attitudes of our parents than by racial factors. I was a little irked that he would ascribe that bovine behaviour to igbo people even though most of the people I’ve seen spewing that crap have been people with roots east of the Niger.

Why would anyone decide that pregnancy is a necessary prerequisite for a marriage proposal? Are children the cement or glue of a marriage? If it is then why do couples with children have problems and even divorce? Are children necessary for long life? Why do young orphans exist? Are parents entitled to wealth just because they have children or use their children as collateral for loans and the like? Obviously not.

I know the joy that children bring to a home, I was a child some time ago. I also know the anguish that years of infertility carry in its wake, I’ve seen it first hand. However I don’t believe that ensuring a woman’s fertility is guarantee that the marriage will be happy or even stand the test of time.

As a Christian, my beliefs are not in line with such chauvinistic, retrogressive thought processes. Even if I weren’t one, common sense would still triumph over it anytime.

Before you buy anything, it is usually expected that you’ve inspected your intended purchase and verified it’s usefulness before you get it. That’s why getting a refund can be as hard as pulling teeth.

God’s gifts are not like that, we don’t need to verify anything about his gifts because they are good and perfect, designed to bless and enrich our lives. There’s no need for any caveat when it’s God’s issue.



  1. Uhmmm mami, this silly tradition happens in some places in Nairobi….it is sickening buh then again, I blame ignorance. Mami, you are right….Children do not bring a family closer….it’s just crazy how people think…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s