In a few years I’ll be thirty, thirty is the new twenty *self delusion*, it’s an interesting age to be. I’ve always thought the best decade for a woman is her fourth decade, her thirties. She’s like the best wine; mature, full bodied with hints of the flavours absorbed from its oak casks and barrels. It’s not musty or tainted with vinegar, its sugars have mellowed in sharpness. She’s not prone to girlish flights of fancy neither has the pain and disappointments of life soured her yet. So I’ve decided to write to the thirty year old version of me. The thirty year old me has to be fabulous, rich (definitely), wise (at least) and she’s fun to be with. I’m not writing a conventional letter to the future me, I’m simply having a conversation with a cool kid.
Today is 31st December 201- and you’re thirty (tongue out to Hero and Baby) today. What exactly are you feeling? Are you elated? Excited? Or is there a sense of anticlimax? Are you having a party today? I kinda doubt it, I’m not a party person now and I don’t think you’d have changed that much in only a few years. Anyway, happy birthday darling. Remember your twentieth birthday? And the drama that Joh caused? Yes him! That your dreadlock wearing and hemp smoking friend. Don’t shake your head at the girl you used to be, she was one of the most accommodating human beings I ever knew and she had the strangest friends. Remember how sad she felt in that Prof Omogbai’s substance abuse class when he discussed the acute and chronic effects of an affair with Mary Jane, how he perfectly described Joh without ever seeing him? Anyway I hope you’re somewhere sipping a fruity smoothie and reading this with smiles playing across your face. I’d like to imagine you’re lying on a towel on the beach, yes Whitehaven. Hopefully it’s not your first visit, if it is then you slacked big time.
More questions! Have you finally gotten control of your weight issues? You should be rocking them bikinis by now, no excuses. Unless of course you’re pregnant, speaking of which. Are you a mummy now? It’s rather hard to think of you as being totally responsible for a little baby, I’m sure you’d do fine though. You’re rather resourceful and you have a sense of humour, they’d serve you well in mummyhood. Do you still think you have all the answers? At this moment I have no such illusions but old habits have a way of shaking off hibernation. I don’t need to ask you if you’re still stubborn do I? Hero’s influence plus certain natural tendencies are oxygen to fire in this matter. I hope you’ve finally grasped how to mask it perfectly, think iron hand in velvet glove my darling. Are Hero and Baby still your friends? If they aren’t (for whatever insane reasons), pick up your phone and call them. Don’t let crazy schedules, distance or ennui come between you three, your friendship is the real deal.
Your walk with God should be unwavering by now, have you discovered what your ministry is? I have some suspicions currently though. Nne by now you should be fearless and bold, you should be giving speeches without hyperventilating or stuttering for that matter. Have you started volunteering? How exactly are you giving back to society?
Where are you living now? Have you started scratching your travel itch? What’s life like in 201-? Have you finally crossed to the dark side and bought an apple device? Do you still procrastinate? It took me a whole day to write this, I kept running to Google instead of marshaling my thoughts and finishing this. Are you married now or you decided not to just because you can’t? Don’t answer that, I hate intrusive questions and I’m even doing it to myself. Please tell me Chelsea FC has won all the EPLs from this season until this your birthday, and we’ve won at least three UEFA champion’s league titles. Stop laughing, dreams can come true. After all many things started as flights of fancy, fragments of fevered dreams, you get the drift.
Babe, how’s your love for Lionel Richie? Still passionate or he’s been replaced by a hotter dude? I’d like to say impossible but I’ve learned not to predict your actions. I’m listening to written in the stars by Westlife, does the song still get you mushy? Do you still cry when you listen to everything by Michael Bublé, everyday by Phil Collins, stuck on you, still, just to be with you again by Lionel? Are you still ambivalent about Beyoncé? Have you finally started listening to songs that are less than twenty years old? Has your love for reading been reactivated? I haven’t been reading properly in the last eighteen months, I struggle to finish books these days. I hope you’ve overcome that bad patch.
What are you doing for a living? Pharmacy? Well you gave it so much, it should feed you. Are you writing? Have you started writing regularly rather than this my “inspiration” dependent output. I attended a programme on the business of writing yesterday, I’m fired up and motivated. Hopefully you’ll reap the rewards. Have you started the travel writing gig? If you haven’t then start tomorrow!
Fittingly I’m listening to Chaka Khan’s AIn’t nobody right now, here’s where I tell you that you’re fabulous, beautiful etc and if nobody in the future thinks you’re hot stuff then this should remind you of all that. Nobody can love you like me, not just because I’m you but because if I didn’t have you to aspire to, then life won’t be worth living. What if there’s no thirtieth birthday on earth? How’s the birthday party in heaven? I’m pretty sure there are no birthdays in heaven darling, I’m only teasing you.
Finally, have you discovered the meaning of life? Hold that thought, answer when you’re forty.