This morning I was talking to a certain male friend about pictures and good looks and he said something that shocked me. He said he wasn’t handsome, he was barely averagely good-looking. I was beyond shocked, my mouth hung open and I couldn’t even think. This guy is one of the “handsomest” guys in Nigeria, and he thinks he’s a little better than ugly. The same guy who won the most handsome guy in his department on the regular when he was in the university and has a retinue of adoring fans till this day.

As I ended the call I was flummoxed at my friend’s cluelessness. I’d be uncomfortable being his girlfriend, yes its as bad as that! because I’d always have people wonder how I managed to snag “such a fine guy”.

I still had him on my mind when I went to the living room to eat my breakfast and my matriculation picture caught my eye. I was a teenager at the time but I thought I looked thirty-five (no jokes) and was as fat as a hippo. Standing in front of that picture this morning I wondered what kind of idiocy could have inspired such a thought. The girl in the picture looked very young and she wasn’t even fat. In hindsight I could see things the way they really were but back then? No! Right now I’m glad I had no conception of just how beautiful I was, my conceit would have hit meteoric levels. People would have had to fill forms to talk to me *I kid*. The whole thing leaves me wondering, how come we rarely see the awesome and wonderful things about ourselves? When others try to tell us we only wave them aside and claim they are flattering or even mocking us.

I remember all the beautiful dresses I refused to buy because I felt I was too fat for them or that my shoulder stretch marks made them impractical, despite my friend’s insistence that they’d fit perfectly.  How many opportunities have we missed because we decided we weren’t smart enough or rich enough or influential enough etc? And when we look back in five, ten years we discover we were just right for those things. Hero always says “the things we’ll regret the most at the end are not the things we did but the things we didn’t do”. I’m no motivational speaker and this is not an inspirational blog so I won’t sermonize, I’d just say this. You’re far more awesomely amazing than you think you are at the moment, don’t let nobody tell you different.

I was watching a YouTube clip of Majek Fashek’s appearance on David letterman’s show in the early 1990s. He performed my favourite Majek song “So long”, I’m not going to gush about the song… this is not a favorite song post. I wish someone had showed him an image of how he’d look like in less than twenty years, maybe that’d have made him get his act together. I watched a recent interview where he claimed “forces from home” were behind his sorry state, I felt so sad for him because he was obviously in the highest plain of delusion. Hopefully he’s the only person living there.

When I was a child (like three or four years old) I loved listening to him, I thought he knew me and had sang a song about my parents. Remember his song that had the lines
Mama Tete oyoyo
Papa Tete oyoyo
I thought he was singing for my parents, you see Adaeze is a tough name for kids to pronounce. Ask any child below three to pronounce the name and you’ll hear things like Adede, Atietie, dede or tete. I thought he couldn’t pronounce the name just like many of my friends. Anyway I always had a soft spot for him and I really hope he gets better or at least stops deteriorating. I just watched a video of one of his performances this year and the tears are still stinging my eyes. His voice is still on point though.
I pray we never waste the most important thing God gave us on this earth in the quest for the inconsequential, wasting our lives makes mockery of God. So weigh yourself and your life on a scale and see if you’re using your full potential.



  1. This is my first time on your blog. I really enjoy this post.

    I think this the concept of personal self-image has to do with linguistic-programming (i.e. The lies that we’ve been told about ourselves from childhood).

    This really plays a top role in shaping our concept of self and the level of sel-esteem.

    The problem with this is that the people whose opinions we rely most (in most cases – trust) are the people who say words to us – with a selfish expectation that is designed to leave us feeling bad and them, feeling good.

    The truth is that we are all beautiful people on the inside. And anyone who fails to see his or her own personal inner beauty will horribly fail at seeing his (or her) outer beauty.

    ~ PBW


    1. I really like the points you’ve raised, especially linguistic programming. Most people do not realise how important it is to establish self affirmative behaviour in young children. Thanks for stopping by.


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