Girls, grief and Google

“Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose” that line from one of my favourite songs always makes me ponder on the concept of freedom, can anyone be truly free? Methinks there’s nothing like freedom anywhere, you’re always bound to something, there’s always you’re pursuing or is pursuing you. I saw two young girls wearing my secondary school’s uniform in a place that is quite far from the school, what were they looking for there? I wondered. Suddenly I was close to them and could hear their conversation, they were talking about what they’d do after WASSCE and how sweet freedom would be! Wanted to draw them close and tell them “I finished secondary school many years ago, I’m through with university and you’re freer than me” I didn’t say anything, life would show ’em soon abi?
Yesterday was the seventh year anniversary of my beloved uncle’s demise, how well I remember that phone call that changed the world as I knew it, me on my bed in Ekosodin, puzzled that my dad was calling in the afternoon, he only called in the morning and at night. My father’s halting voice, emotion laden, ‘we lost your uncle, Uncle Nnamdi, early this morning’. It seems strange that I’ve lived this long without him, the man who understood me better than my parents or anyone else, the only person whose love for me I never doubted. How could I doubt it when he thought
I hung the moon and stars and I thought he kept the earth in its orbit, yea it was a mutual adoration society. I remember clearly the last time I saw him, December 31 2006, my birthday and my dad’s, he zoomed in from Owerri to Mbaise on his bike, my mum fussing cos he came that far with his bike when he had a car, he didn’t want to get stuck in traffic, he had to spend the day with his “computer” whose birthday was that day. “What did you get for my birthday” I ask, “myself” he replied; that was answer enough. I’m so glad that day I greeted him with a flying hug, I was on the cusp of womanhood, should have been more dignified, I’m glad I was just a little girl with her favourite person in the world.
I remember the last time we spoke, I just killed a rat and disposed of it (I have a bone deep phobia for rats especially dead ones, won’t kill a rat, or dispose of a dead one for love or money cockroaches too) one tiny rat in my uncle’s house in Ugbowo. I called everyone to tell them, Dee Nnamdi was so excited, he knew what a milestone it was, he called me later that night, we talked for an hour, about everything, school, boys, his health, what we’d do when I graduated. Did he know we’d never talk again? I still ponder.
Yesterday was also my sendforth at the hospital I interned for a year (eleven months, but who’s counting)


it was a nice ceremony, simple, short and sweet. I’d miss the other interns, we had fun times, it was one crazy ride. I’d miss most of the people I worked with, most not all. Some people were just…
I don’t believe in ghosts but I learned yesterday that love can’t be bound by death and time. I love old songs, the 1980s was my favourite decade musically. The best songs were done then, trust me. I have most of the songs I like on my phone but there was ONE song I didn’t have, I didn’t know the title or the lyrics. I knew the beat but when I hummed it to people no one seemed to know it. I loved the song because it was used in Mr Biggs adverts in the early to mid 1990s, hearing the advert always reminded me of their jam doughnuts (doughnut with blood as my brother and I used to call it). Whenever we heard the advert, my brother and I would strategize on how to get Daddy to take us to Mr Biggs. The problem was that the direct approach rarely worked with daddy, throwing a tantrum would guarantee that you’d never get what you want. The five year old me and my three year old brother had to learn to be masters in subterfuge- those were the times. By the time my youngest brother came, there was no need for all that, the boy came to this world with the key to his father’s heart firmly in his grasp.
I always thought the song was by Phil Collins, had gone to Google and YouTube several times in the last five years trying to look for the song but I never found it and I couldn’t remember one word from the song. Yesterday I was downloading Phil Collins video ‘everyday’ (another song I searched for, will blog about it one day) and was thinking of my mystery song; suddenly a line dropped in my head “if you’ll be my bodyguard, I can your”, was sceptical, afterall I’ve not been able to remember it all these years. Typed it in my search bar and the name Paul Simon appears with the title ‘You can call me Al’ Straight to YouTube (I get data). Immediately the song started I knew it was THE song. Tears stream down my eyes, finding the song was no coincidence. I downloaded the video and the audio, i love both.The video has Chevy Chase lip synching the song and Paul Simon playing instruments, having Chevy was on the video was a stroke of genius. Chevy is 6″4 while Paul is 5″3, difference toh bad, it worked so well.
Here’s an old picture of me, back when I wanted to be a banker


Finally I want to say a huge thank you to someone who made internship bearable for me, who always said this one will still pass, you’ll look back and smile. I’m smiling now but will smile more when you update your blog.
PS Someone told me writing what you’ll blog about in your next post in your current post will keep you focused and make you blog faster. Let’s how this goes… will be blogging about spring rolls and sex gender next.
PPS Who knows the people that kidnapped the jam in Mr Biggs jam doughnuts, please beg them to return it, we want the next generation to enjoy them
  Sayonara everyone



  1. Yea my dear daughter, Adaeze aka Ada Skosko I enjoyed you bit about jam doughnut. I was very fortunate to have read a lot of books in my undergraduate days on child rearing. I also lived with two uncles of blessed memory in Jos ( Prof. H.I.Ajaegbu and Barr. Gab Okwudire) who had young children then. I learnt and admired the way they were bringing up their children. Prof. would always say ” Once you have provided the very basic needs of the child, do not ever give in to any tantrums.” Pretend that the cries do not move you.Take them for outings only when you can afford the time and have the means. By and by, they will understand and cherish you as their parent.


  2. There’s no feeling as exciting as finally finding that song you’ve always been in love with.
    A bit off but, why did you strike out the word “sex” towards the end?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s